There once was an angel who held a man’s hand in hell and said ‘Come.’
Only to hold that same hand in purgatory and say, ‘Go.’
and his brother will roll his eyes and whisper ‘gay’
I just walked my dolphin across the Grand Canyon. The reporter asked me what kind of leash I was using. I really wanted her to ask questions about what percent of the women in my group speak Chinese.
She did not ask those questions.
It is the year 2037. I am visiting the Grand Canyon with my family. I begin to cry and my children ask why. I say “I’ll never see it the same way Lopez de Cardenas did”
he did more than the government
this seriously makes me want to cry i wish i had enough money to do that
everyone. everywhere. everyday
ITS SAD BECAUSE ITS TRUE
Guys can we talk about how great reversed gifs are
like we have the vacuums
we have the dirty stuff
we have the fixers
we have the ceptioners
and we have my favorite
like these are the greatest things in the world
sometimes i’m dan and sometimes i’m phil. but mostly phil.
your phone is captain America
i need a 3 hour kiss
Wherein Ten continues to bullshit his way through being a Time Lord
*blames himself to get himself out of trouble*